#manipulation isnt romance

[themoodyestj]

This Is Not Love. This Is Abuse.

Sorry, still on that unfortunate IG edit:

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Let’s get one thing straight—humiliating your partner in public, mocking him every chance you get, isn’t love. Withholding support when he’s struggling, when he’s exhausted, when he just needs someone to stand by him, isn’t love. Smugly high-fiving your friend at your own wedding, treating him like a trophy you won instead of a person you vowed to respect, isn’t love.

And yet, some people still have the audacity to call this a “powerful woman.” No. This is an abuser in disguise.

Imagine this scenario: A man constantly puts down his wife in front of others, belittles her efforts, makes sure she knows he’s the real success in the relationship. Imagine he signs autographs saying, “She’s mine,” like she’s a thing instead of a person. Imagine he uses their children to shield himself whenever she dares to push back against his behavior.

Would anyone hesitate to call that abuse? Would anyone rush to defend him, saying “Oh, she’s just overreacting”? No. But switch the roles, and suddenly, people find excuses. They call it “confidence,” “feminine energy,” or “just how relationships are.” They say, “Well, he’s the breadwinner, so what’s the problem?” As if financial success somehow means he deserves to be treated like dirt.

Let’s be very clear:

Mocking your partner in public is not banter. It’s humiliation.

Undermining his efforts, no matter how much he provides, is not equality. It’s cruelty.

Using your children as human shields because you’re afraid of facing the consequences of your own actions is beyond toxic. It’s manipulative. It’s disgusting.

A woman like this doesn’t love her husband. She owns him. In her mind, he exists to serve her image, her ego, her need to feel superior. And if he ever dares to push back, to express frustration, to show any normal human reaction to being emotionally gutted over and over again—suddenly, he’s the problem.

And the worst part? People will believe her.

Because a man who is abused isn’t seen as a victim. He’s seen as weak. “Why doesn’t he just leave?” people will say, ignoring the fact that emotional abuse chains you just as tightly as any cage.

And now, thanks to social media, people don’t just excuse this kind of abuse—they romanticize it.

Just look at that IG edit, the woman smirks and says, “If men are that easy to manipulate, they deserve to be taken advantage of.” And what’s the response? Are people outraged? Do they recognize the absolute horror of that statement?

No. They swoon. They cheer. They put soft filters over the clip, set it to some sultry song, and call it “iconic.”

Meanwhile, the male character in the scene—who, instead of defending himself, plays along and says, “I’m easy to manipulate, why don’t women take advantage of me?”—is reduced to a joke. People don’t see his words for what they are: a quiet, defeated admission of being broken down, of craving affection so much that even manipulation seems better than being ignored. They don’t see the tragedy in it. They see a meme.

Think about that. Really, think about that.

If that same scene had a man saying, “If women are that easy to manipulate, they deserve to be taken advantage of,” the internet would burn itself to the ground in rage. There would be no soft-filtered edits, no praise, no twisted admiration. There would be condemnation. But when it’s a woman? Suddenly, it’s just aesthetic.

This is not romance. This is not love. This is ABUSE.

And it needs to stop. Because if you defend this, if you excuse it, if you let it slide because “it’s different when a woman does it”—you are part of the problem.

If it wouldn’t be okay in reverse, it is not okay now.

PS: I'm not even going to tag celebrities or fandoms in this one. This is not even about any of those anymore. This is about common decency and knowing what's right from what feeds your inner delulu.

[br1ghtestlight]

i dont think the ii contestants are like. incapable of growing and learning abt the world beyond what mephone knows and taught them obviously they could do and be anything. but for the time being the reality is they dont really have any life experience outside of reality tv and the world mephone created for them based off his ALSO very limited experience of the "real world". they never thought to question mephone when he said this is the way the world is this is how it works, this is what exists and what doesn't exist. and why would they?? its like they were raised in a weird reality tv cult except in their situation the cult leader was also raised in a way weirder genocidal abusive cult. like he's trying his best okay!!!!

anyway i dont think mephone intentionally kept any information from them and i dont think he was like..... controlling their brains or what information they were allowed access to. but u never think to question things you dont even know exist outside of a vauge abstract reality tv context

[xiphiaarts]

Man I might jus be vanilla

[wind-up-thancred]

still tickles me to think about HW katsucred where thancred's laying there night after night overthinking his relationship with katsu and worrying that he's getting too attached and projecting his feelings onto what he thinks is just a FWB for the both of them to let off steam. guilting himself over burdening katsu with his own attachment

meanwhile katsu's just. completely unaware. and is just giddy that he has someone that he gets to kiss and cuddle for the first time and isn't worried in the slightest about what's going on between them. because he has zero idea how this shit works and is just rolling with it. assuming that thancred, guy with """relationship experience""", knows what he's doing. (he does not. he hasn't earnestly romanced someone outside of work reasons since his mid 20s in my HC.)

it is genuinely a fucking miracle that they made it as far as they did considering the lack of proper communication between them up until late STB. i think if katsu hadn't accidentally blurted out that he loved thancred during their reunion in the lochs, they'd probably still be in a perpetual state of situationship weirdness. idiots (affectionate)

[halamshirals]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

[pupkinpumpkin]

I would like to say thank you to Cullen for breaking the tradition of me romancing characters I actually don't want to romance bc I worry about their happiness and wellbeing if I don't

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Astarion refers to the other spawn he intends to create as his children and I personally HC it more like his consort spawn eventually plays the role of brood mother to whoever the favored "children" are for eternity. like they recreate a fucked up family unit. romanced player and the children have to compete for scraps while he spoils whoever his romance partner is. and the cruelty of it is that Astarion's consort has all the gifts to be in the sun, but Astarion now wants an eternal night for all of the children he intends to make (and force to live in the shadows).

[hirokiyuu]

ace/riddle/floyd - nonary game

"We shouldn't trust him," says Ace, whose voice is a little rueful and whose watch reads 6; "Like, c'mon, when did he do a single thing that made any sense while we were in that room with him?"

Never, if Riddle's being honest--which is exactly why he can't shake the trepidation lingering in the hollows of his chest. Floyd is erratic, the type to get bored and wander off in the middle of a death game, and that means at this very moment on a whim he might be pressing Ally with just a single point left on his bracelet--or he might very well be pressing Betray.

[theonlyadawong]

i am on my hands and knees praying, hoping, begging capcom not to retcon the night leon and ada spent together between re4 and damnation. the idea that either of them would have sought the other out outside of their line of work is so good, and it adds so much to both of them

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR

SYNOPSiS » two podcast groups, both equally popular on the internet, start interacting with one another. however it isnt how fans want it to be.. OR yn sees sunghoon hating on lauryn hill and accidentally starts an entire fanwar with him.

PAiRiNG » sunghoon x fem!reader

FEAUTRiNG » all of enha, giselle of aespa, txt briefly mentioned

GENRE » smau (social media au), fluff, angst, enemies to lovers (barely), chronically online humor, romance, podcast au, influencer au, HEAVILY inspired from suburb talks and under the influence podcasts, SLOWBURNN

WARNiNGS » profanity, suggestive humor, kys/kms jokes, lots of pop culture references (im chronically online im sorry), drinking, drugs, fanwars, yn haters (BOOOOO), stalking (sorta?) manipulation (NOT FROM SUNGHOON OR Y/N) changes every chapter.

STATUS » completed — (08/03/24) to (10/26/24)

PLAYLiST » your eyes only - enha, after midnight - chappell roan, ex factor - lauryn hill, kiss me - dpr live, read your mind - sabrina carpenter, 3005 - childish gambino, poison poison - renee rapp, thirst - dpr live, just a little bit - enha, daisy - wave to earth, nouvelle vague - wave to earth, thinkin about you - frank ocean. (got carried away .. 😁)

AUTHORS NOTE » BIGGG thanks to my bestest friend ever, my fav british person, @lqfiles , ily so so much and thank you so much for helping me with this process. teaching me how to work tumblr like i was a grandma even tho im only 2 years older than u and making this AMAZING cover (isnt she talented), i love u sooo much more than words can describe, you annoying brit (endearing) 🫶

TAGLIST CLOSED!

written chaps in blue

🔴 RECORDING..

teaser (read first for context!!)

profiles i & profiles ii

1) call my phone a vibrator the way it keeps buzzing

2) YAP CENTRAL EP.135: alpha male podcasts?!

3) first hate thread. feeling nervous

4) pussy slay queen!

5) okay alpha

6) ROUND TABLE EP.149: perfect pitch :o

7) 1 down 3 to go

8) what the fuck is a ynhoon

9) YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won and riki

10) wet and bothered

11) just a normal tuesday

12) jungwons evil arc

13) YNXOXO VLOG: cafe date with my girls <3

14) the battle of thirst traps

15) twitch streaming era

16) YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?

17) second interaction: kinda scared

18) fuck skater boys

19) park sunghoon v. round table

20) riki emo era: OVER

21) sunghoons side hoes

22) ROUND TABLE EP.150: we traded phones?!

23) bro define: friend

24) spidey sense

25) on my cellular plan i pay for?

26) YNXOXO VLOG: night time routine + surprise!!

27) a face i would kiss

28) collab of the century

29) YAP CENTRAL EP.137: has love lost its meaning?

30) eyes don’t lie

31) operation: ynhoon (postponed)

32) crybaby

33) operation: ynhoon (BACK ON)

34) chat is this a date yes or no?

35) boss baby jay

36) boyfriend

37) soft or hard?

38) what da heck *tyla voice*

39) YNXOXO VLOG: ice skating! | vlog w/ a special guest!!

40) love is on air

UNCUTS

1) operation: get riki ip banned on twt

2) try not to blow up challenge: FAILED

3) JAYS KITCHEN: my friends trying to help me make food blindfolded. (spoiler: it’s a fail)

4) YNXOXO VLOG: my boyfriend does my makeup voiceover !

5) YAP CENTRAL BLOOPERS: riki kat and yn patreon ad

© all rights to pshbites 2024

[themoodyestj]

genuinely asking like what is your stance on danneel and jensens relationship, and how do you feel about Jensen stans? And the recent post about women being subtle abusers towards men, is that directed towards danneel? Are you saying that danneel is genuinely mentally abusive towards Jensen? Again genuinely asking because I’m curious no hate at all

Hello Anon,

I apologize in advance for the short answer, things in life are speeding up again. What do I feel about Jensen stans? Well, not all Jensen stans are made the same, so I'm going to talk about the delulu ones, the gatekeepers.

There are some stans who put him in an impossible pedestal, they want him everywhere, doing everything... except living his own life. People who objectify him and have zero respect for him, tagging him in their delulu episodes, wanting his attention, chasing him down the street for photos. I mean, these people do everything and want everything... except letting him live his life.

Regarding my post, yes, it includes Danneel, and takes her as an example, but it extends to all abusive women. I do see some behaviors in her that lead me to believe there is abuse, and I don't ignore those red flags. My mutuals sure have a lot of evidence on it, feel free to browse. @lightofraye is one of them.

But also, I kept it vague because I have been noticing a lot of sexual bias regarding this subject. Just because men are strong and have a career, it doesn't mean they can't be abused. In fact, I know a lot of men who'd rather take a slap than give it, because they were raised to never lay hand on a woman, or mistreat her in any way.

And some women take advantage of that. And sadly, some people applaud it and call it girl power.

[captainshyguy]

its because theyre the closest thing the fandom has to twinks and fandoms explode if they cant ship two little skinny guys or something

I finished Super Paper Mario earlier today for the first time after 16 years of owning and adoring the game and

I have a question for any Limentio / Dimigi shippers out there.

Why

[kawareo]

Thank you lovely people for giving me a chance to ramble more about something (this is genuine, i mean no shade)

I find it really cool how every character has a parallel with Durge! In general every single romance pairing has reasons for why i think "yeah i could see them being good together", but I love those for Durge especially since I think about Durges way too much

Gale. Prodigy, Chosen of a God(ess) with a relationship that went far past god/Chosen, with him and Mystra being 'lovers' and Durge and Bhaal being 'family'. They were also both groomed to a degree to fulfill a role and have since fallen from grace of their gods.

Lae'zel. Raised in what is essentially a cult, having her entire world fall apart when she learns the truth about Vlaakith and Orpheus (while Durge's world falls apart when they learn about who they are in act 3). Cult has harsh and merciless punishments for those that disappoint, with death and beatings for githyanki and... Well. You know what, for Durge (looking at you, deleted bad ending).

Shadowheart. Having an equivalent of an electric collar on you that her God(ess) can punish her with (for Durge, that punishment isnt so immediate but Bhaal can literally stop their heart if he wants to). Amnesia. Having to choose between leading your cult or leaving everything you thought you knew and being an outcast. Depending on what you do with Shart, they also both kill their parents.

Karlach. Having your body changed without your consent, in drastic ways that you have no control over; the engine for Karlach, lobotomy + Slayer form for Durge (slayer in a more minor way but i will say that even in evil route you dont get a say whether or not you transform the first time). They both hurt people that get close to then without meaning to. They both have someone more powerful who sees them as property. Also, ties to Gortash.

Wyll. Daddy issues! And being rejected and outcast by your Father, wanting to prove yourself that you're still worthy. They were also both given shitty fucking names by their dads. They both at some point chose between power at the cost of freedom and freedom at the cost of literally everything; Wyll when he made a deal with Mizora, Durge at multiple points through the game when it comes to Bhaal. They both struggle with being tied to an evil, manipulative being that wants them isolated and weak and alone. Similar with Karlach, unwilling body modification, but specifically one that turns you into a 'monster'.

Astarion. 'Father'. 'Siblings' that you are in constant and brutal competition with, for momentary approval of your Creator who will never have enough of anything short but the world. Creator who's end goal very much includes you dying for him. Having no bodily autonomy as your Creator can literally violate your mind whenever. Sexual abuse. Struggling with bloodthirst! Your existence itself is violent, you can't live without hurting someone! (Bloodthirst for Ass, Urges for Durge)

Halsin. (Potential) guilt for something you have done, being pushed in a leadership position (Halsin at the grove, Durge with companions) that you may or may not be unsuited for. Being so, so alone, without anyone to care for your feelings. They both also have sides of them that they sometimes can't control, with the Bear and Urges, or more literally, the Slayer.

Minthara. A proud and efficent warrior that got one upped by a person they underestimated. Ties to Orin. Living as someone with the highest social status in a brutal, cruel society. Fanatic worship of an objectively evil god(ess) and then the betrayal that follows, waking up from quite literal brainwashing, seeing how your God(ess) turns against you.

And I could go on! Theyre all so good and interesting and depending on what path you decide to take, there is always something that Durge can relate to on with any companion! I tried to avoid repeating points or talking about my Durge specifically by just talking about what is set in canon for them, and there is still! So! Much!

[mayxo-hxh]

Do you think hisoillu romantic relationship would be confirmed more explicitly in the future in the manga?

I have read this very interesting post for killugon about how togashi Never leave thing vaguely / ambiguous and always confirmed the romance between queer characters, but in hisoillu case even if illumi said they were engaged, there still a lot of people who always repeat the excuse of («THiS Is jUsT fOr ThE mOnEy») even thought to togashi purposely shoose specific romantic word to describe It… this is why I wonder if you think we would be have additional elements who will confirme more explicitly their loves later in the manga?

I don't think so.

As the killugon post had mentioned, Togashi is all abt subtlety especially when it comes to hunter x hunter. Meruem and Komugi never came outright and said that they love each other. Alluka never came outright and said shes trans. and Hisoka and Illumi arent going to come outright to say they love each other.

You will ALWAYS have people that deny the existence of queer relationships/characters regardless of media. Even if you had Hisoka and Illumi kiss on camera, there is always going to be the people saying "This isnt illumi actually, its someone else in disguise!" or "Hisoka definitely manipulated him!" or "it wasnt actually a love kiss it was just obligation!" You'll never truly be free from queer erasure.

THE most explicit thing that could have been done in hisoillus relationship was to loudly and boldly announce their marriage, which Togashi did. And just like you said, people still grasp at straws to deny their relationship's existence. Thats just how its always going to be. You can easily debunk every single excuse they give you with full proof and evidence, and they still wouldn't care. The mistranslation excuse was debunked by a japanese speaking person ages ago with photo evidence and explanations and people will still call it mistranslation. They don't care about whats canon or what isn't, they only care about erasing queer characters from the media.

I think hisoillu specifically being unpopular as queer characters is because of the fact that theyre shitty people and the antagonists of the main lovable characters. Most people don't want to touch Hisoka with a ten inch pole and Illumi by association. But if you actually care and pay half a braincell to focus on their characters and interactions, you'd find that its undeniable that they've always favored each other in each and every single interaction they've had when they never do so with other people.

What I do think will be shown in the future of the manga is hisoillu's explicit collaboration against the troupe on the black whale and more of them working together in the future. Maybe they'll even mention the fact that Hisoka is part of the Zoldyck family now and it'll be acknowledged by other Zoldycks. But thats about it. And that's all we'll ever need, really. Let people cry and delude themselves all they want, but we as hisoillu fans should not need more than that to know whats canon and whats not.

The only way i see them being "more" explicitly confirmed as romantic in the future is if togashi had enough of bitches whining about it and straight up goes himself "is it not obvious" when someone asks him about hisoillus romantic relationship lmfao

[thedomesticanthropologist]

In one of my playthroughs, my Tav is having a TIME with Astarion, and it's a version of his romance I don't see represented online as much and I want to talk about it.

If you choose more lightweight dialogue options, if you don't dig into his mind at the bite scene, if you get his Araj confession instead of his impromptu one,

Then by the end of Act 2, you do *not* have a secure relationship AT ALL, he has never said he's in love, and everything feels REALLY rocky.

All through act 1 he lays on the seduction heavily, but in act 2 a bitch is MAD. He is stressed, he needs to figure out his scars, he feels hunted and un-safe and because of this, he starts to take it out on Tav a bit.

SPOILERS FOR ACT 2:

when Raphael shows up to talk to him, he snaps at Tav saying "don't get in my way". When you do his quest and kill the orthon, you have to PRY a thank you from him by literally telling him to parrot your words ('thank you for helping me, it was very... Kind') and he spits it out like he really, really wasnt intending to say anything in the form of gratitude.

When you talk about what to do about Cazador, my Paladin chose 'youll never be free while he lives' because it's true. If he runs, cazador will hunt him. If cazador lives, he will never stop looking over his shoulder. His reply 'i hate that you're right'

Even when you say you'll join him to hunt his master down, you can watch his facial expressions and see: he's not convinced. Of course he isn't. He's terrified. And is he grateful? Yes, but again, it's guarded.

I then went to moonrise and talked to Araj, and I defended his autonomy 100%.

When his Araj-confession happened, it was absolutely NOT a LOVE confession. It was more like:

"thank you. This made me realize I was still acting like a slave even in freedom, and you supporting me there made me feel like I can start to snap out of that kind set. Sooooo... I should tell you, since you did me a solid, that I was using you for protection and manipulating you up until now"

If you DONT choose the top options, the MOST he tells you about how he feels about you is a single line of dialogue

'imagine my surprise when I started to actually feel... SOMETHING... For you'

This could be friendship, crush feels, etc. It's VERY vague, and important things to note is while WE THE PLAYER know more about him and what he may feel at this point or what he's gone through, YOUR TAV DOESNT.

He does not apologize for using you. He states his regret that his plan failed because he started to value you as a person instead of a tool for him to be used. That admission is his gift back to you for defending him in front of Araj.

If you then choose 'what do YOU want' he approves, but says he doesn't know. And then he defends that 'isnt it nice not to know?' You still get soft faces, your hand held. He's trying to *silently* communicate what he can't bring himself to say, but he *DOESNT* SAY anything to affirm you two are a couple/in a relationship/etc. Just a vague 'lets not talk about it but see where it goes'

Honestly, based on this experience via dialogue choices for this character, it almost seemed to me like "sounds like you need a friend not a lover" makes the MOST SENSE. Of course this is my Astarion Romance run, so my Paladin instead said, basically, I'll wait for you until you're ready. (She chose the 'what do you want,' and let it lay there as is)

Afterwards you can ask about your relationship with him and again, he's flustered, he's hedging, he's defensive, and he brushes it off. He's not ready to talk, he's not ready to commit, he's fully focused on Cazador and his safety.

You enter this waiting period where Tav has been manipulated, spoken down to, snapped at, bitten, and responded to without gratitude, but is ALSO given just the faintest, BAREST glimpse at the vulnerability beneath the surface. The player is being asked at this point to REALLY trust and WAIT without ANY evidence that this relationship could become healthy, or could turn into love, or could because a real relationship. And that's SO NEAT

If you don't romance anyone else and aren't put into the position to choose him, you never get a confirmation of dating. If you get the Araj scene and don't choose hug, and don't force him to confirm he was attracted to you etc, you can literally end the talk on "thanks for defending me, also haha I was using you this whole time just so you know, thanks for being nice about it"

From a Tav point of view, this *could* be fairly devastating, and even if Tav decides to wait and keep supporting him, at this point, even post "confession" there is VERY little evidence that things are gonna get better between you.

We know it does. WE do. We get the access to other dialogue and choices or the other confession IF we chose that. But this, this scene, these dialogue choices REALLY emphasize his Act 3 confession

"you were patient. You waited, through blood lust etc /even when it was an objectively stupid thing to do etc"

Cause yeah. He's RIGHT. If you don't choose VERY specific dialogues to get more out of him, most of his romance up until the Act 3 confession,most of how he treats you, most of how he responds to your decisions in game (if you're playing fairly good and not evil/durge) gives Tav no reason beyond faith to continue to pursue him.

I think he knows this, and it's why he's surprised when you state you don't want him for sex. Because up until Act 3, he KNOWS how he's been treating Tav and even HE wouldn't have stood for it if the roles were reversed, so h thinks 'it must be because I'm good in bed'. Then he takes the sex away and you still stay? Even when he's chasing power, hunting for revenge, snapping at you, refusing to commit?

It's a powerful story line. It's so engaging. And it has room for SO MUCH ANGST

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[interdimensional-glowing-orb]

I JUST HOPE IT'S ALCOHOL!

OR, WELL, SOMETHING AKIN TO ALCOHOL.

I WOULDN'T YOU TO DIE ON ME!! WE'RE F...

I CAN FIND USE FOR YOU LATER.

HEY, FRANCIS!..

REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID...

ABOUT TEA..?

COULD WE..? DO YOU WANT TO...

GO..??

AND HAVE... TEA..?

@interdimensional-glowing-orb

of course, orb. i would love that.